From my youngest memories, I have been chased by the snake in my dreams. It has had different meanings at different times in my life-most times, it brought on extreme fear, nightmares and had prevented me from hiking in heavily wooded areas for fear that I would meet the snake.
During a weekend Dance of the Naraya about a decade ago in the mountains of Oregon, I confronted my fear of snakes through dance, trance, and being in an area where rattlesnakes roamed freely. I wanted to leave the area but a wise man (that I had never met before) told me that the snakes had been chasing me in my dreams because they have a message for me. While hiking in the forest remained a place of fear in that I might have to confront the snake of my dreams, I anxiously awaited the message she would bring me. I meditated about the meaning of the snake and started going on a few short hikes tempting this meeting. Most recently, my snake nightmares have disappeared.
What has come about as of late are a variety of messages that come to me through by painting. I have been experiencing a transformation through melding art, literature, new areas of study, starting new initiatives of the heart and visiting new places. As I have acknowledged the power of the snake in my life, I have kept my ear to the ground and welcomed the newest transitions that life presents.
I just completed the Italian leg of a summer journey visiting the places of my ancestors-Italy and Northern England. I saw a glass-blown snake necklace in Murano and purchased it and embraced the snake in my life. It is a beautiful blue color and matches my eyes well. In the past, there would be no way that I could embrace an image of a snake for my fear would not allow it. A Shamanic friend told me once that in a past life, I was a Mayan midwife-I helped folks transition and discover major life transitions. This mission continues to be a big part of my life. I have an earthly grounding like the snake and am very sensitive to vibrations-i.e., shifts in energy. Also like a snake, I have shed my skin many times and re-emerged with the most interesting phases of life experiences.
A few days ago, I hiked a very tall mountain in Italy near the place of my ancestors in Italy. I had no fear of snakes-I had no fear at all. A new animal crossed my path-a very large mountain lion/puma or cougar. It was very large and laid down heavy tracks in the mud, as well as leaving fresh blood marking the trail as she most likely had a meal shortly before we entered the trail. We hiked the area of a 6th century religious site deep in the Majella (wolf) National Park where monks carved out a church and living quarters inside the caves on the mountainside. I witnessed an alter where St Bartholomew’s image was enshrined and lovely wild flowers, rocky paths, and an occasional iron cross marking the trail to the hermitage.
As I returned to the place I was staying, I crossed a snake that had died near the steps of the house. The wise man of years past told me the snake had a message for me-I now know that the message was: “to come home”. These high Italian mountains of my grandfather are home. I have been so consumed with teaching, promotion, institutional change and social movements, I had forgotten about taking care of myself. In this old Italian house, I ate my favorite foods, had great conversations, relaxed and was present in the moment. I stopped the world for a few days and was just-well, me. The vital truth that had to be revealed by the snake is to let stop losing myself in others and prioritizing everything but me. This fast-paced and busy lifestyle has been eating me up alive and I have forgotten the joy of the simplest things in life.
I do know that the lion/cougar/puma will present itself in the most interesting way as I walk with my ancestors this summer. The snake necklace was purchased in Murano outside of Venice. The Venice coat of arms is the Lion. I will be spending time in France on a spiritual retreat where I will paint and write more. My summer exploration continues further north where Richard the Lionhearted lived, the Knights Templar, ancient caves and ruins and encounters with the Celtic culture.
Ciao!
Toni Bear, Ed.D.
